Paddy O’Purim & the Hay Man – Purim humour
And it came to pass on the evening of the 13th of Adar, that Paddy O’Purim who lived in Shooshannon Square went into his local at the street corner.
L’chaim!
“Top o’the evening to you all! Stout, please,” he said to the bar(mitzvah) maid.
“We don’t have any stout people in this pub,” said the bar(mitzvah) maid, “We’re all thin round here.”
“If you’re thin you can’t be round here or round anywhere else,” retorted Paddy, “but all I wanted was a glass of stout to wet me Purim whistle.”
“So why didn’t you say so?” said the bar(mitzvah) maid. “Here, drink up, and don’t forget to pay!”
“Pay?” said Paddy; “why should I not pay me way?”
“Well,” came the answer, “it’s because of your name, isn’t it? Don’t people call you ‘O poor ‘im’? Doesn’t that mean you’re a bit short of the necessary?”
“Short?” replied Paddy; “are you makin’ fun of me height?”
“Not at all,” same the answer, “but come to think on it, you’re not so long at all, are you?”
“So that’s your game,” said Paddy; “I’ve hardly finished me drink and there you are already telling me ‘So long!’!”
“I’m not doin’ that at all,” said the bar(mitzvah) maid, “but doesn’t your wife expect you home anyhow? That’s her name – Esther?”
“She doesn’t expect me yet,” said Paddy, “but thanks for the offer of food in the meantime”.
“Food? Who said anything about food?” “You did – you invited me! You said, ‘Ess too’ – so thanks, I will ess too!”
“Well, Paddy,” said the bar(mitzvah) maid, “it does happen that we’ve got some good food on tonight. One of me Jewish customers brought in the recipe. It’s some sort of pastry, it is – he says it’s called Hayman something. He says it’s what the haymen eat when they rake in the hay.”
“Hey yourself,” shouted Paddy, “Don’t give me any Heys or Hoys – in these parts we’re respectable and we say ‘Good Evenin’!'”
“All right, Paddy,” came the answer, “Calm down and keep your hayzen on!”
And that’s how Paddy O’Purim had a mellow evening with Miss Understanding.
