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    The Jewish secret weapon

    They are called matzah balls (when I was a child their name was matzokleis, but that’s rather out of fashion these days). Some people like them light, fluffy, and able to melt in the mouth. Others insist they be solid and tough and need serious chewing.

    Their other name is neshek sodi – the Jewish secret weapon. No adversary can resist their onslaught! The fluffy ones stuff up the enemy mouths so that they can’t get their tongue round the usual antisemitic slogans. The hard ones hit them lower down and slow down their movements.

    Fortunately we have other secret weapons too, though I probably shouldn’t reveal all the details in case the wrong people get to read this. There are Hamantaschen, which leave such a cloying sweet taste in the antisemite’s mouth that acid comments about Jews are quite unthinkable. There are latkes, not to be confused with other words that end in “…atkes”, which are so addictive that they affect the heart and deflect the attention of nasty people to their own predicament.

    I was going to add something about blintzes, cholent, gefilte fish, kreplach and lockshen kugel, but why reveal our total armoury? Enough has been said to prove that no adversary is powerful enough to wipe the knowing smile off the face of the Jewish people who so much enjoy their Jewish food but know it bites back when the wrong people get hold of it.

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